How Sasori Became Danna
by deisaso23
Summary: Sasori and Deidara have the hideout to themselves for one whole day, but Deidara gets himself into a lot of trouble. My first Fanfic, so please review!


How Sasori Became Danna

Deidara slowly opened his icy blue eyes and blinked them into focus. He yawned and was about to go back to sleep when he remembered what day it was. Saturday! And on top of the fact that today was Saturday, they had the whole hideout to themselves. They being Sasori and Deidara. He smiled to himself at the thought of how much mischief they could get into. Leaping out of bed, he began searching through the mess of clothing on his floor until he found a relatively clean pair of black pants and a tight red tee shirt with Pinocchio on it. Then he leapt across the room to Sasori's bed. Deidara jumped up and began shaking his partner awake.

"Hey Sasori, un! Wake up! It's Saturday and we get to do whatever we want without the others breathing down out necks." When Deidara got no response, he set his lips in a pout and thought for a moment. How could he get Sasori up? Aha! Deidara had an idea.

"Fine," he said. "I'll just let you sleep even though I'm going to be bored and lonely. I want someone to talk to. I know! I'll go talk to the third kazekage. He might even like to see some of my art." Deidara made it to the door before he was suddenly trapped up against a wall with Sasori's purple eyes fixed on his in an expression of pure hate. Deidara smirked.

"Did you just threaten to blow up my favorite puppet?"

"Yeah, un! Danna got up. Hello sleepy head."

Sasori's hand encircled Deidara's throat, his lips set in a thin line.

"Come on Danna. It was only a joke. Your puppets aren't much fun anyway, un," said Deidara. Sasori's eyes narrowed. His hand tightened on Deidara's throat. Before he could no longer breath or move, Deidara gave his partner a kiss on the nose and slipped out of his grasp in the seconds of shocked silence following his actions. Recovering, Sasori chased Deidara down the hall through the kitchen and into the living room. As Deidara passed the couch, he grabbed a pillow and threw it hard at Sasori, who promptly slashed it to shreds with the blades protruding from his sides. Then he tackled Deidara to the floor and pinned him there with his body. Deidara laughed again.

"You're so much nicer when it's only us," he said, and then added an "Un" as an afterthought. Sasori regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before leaning over and putting his nose an inch from Deidara's.

"Sasori, what are you doing?" Sasori smirked.

"Repaying you," he said.

"What for, un?"

"Waking me up early. Throwing a pillow at me. Threatening the third kazekage. Kissing me on the nose." Sasori opened a flap on his left palm and took out a swiss army knife. Deidara watched with one eyebrow raised as Sasori unfolded a small pair of scissors. He reached for Deidara's ponytail. Deidara's eyes widened when he realized what Sasori was going to do.

"I'm sorry! Please don't cut my hair Sasori. I'll never do it again," Deidara begged.

"Not good enough," said Sasori casually, as he continued to advance on Dei's hair with his scissors.

"I'll bake you a cake, un!" he wailed. Sasori shook his head.

"I'll stop saying un!" Sasori paused, evidently intrigued by this idea, but he didn't think Deidara could do it anyway. He shook his head.

"I'll be your slave for the whole day, yeah!" shouted Deidara for the scissors had been about to cut through his precious hair. Sasori smiled.

"Agreed," he said and got up.

_Oh dear. What has our poor Dei gotten himself into this time?_

"Bring me another soda," ordered Sasori. The red head had seated himself in the living room on a comfy black suede chair. His feet were up on a cushion and his cloak was unbuttoned. Of course the puppet didn't care if he was uncomfortable or not; he only like making Deidara suffer.

"What kind of soda would you like, danna?" Deidara asked using the name Sasori had given himself for the day.

"Hm. How about Dr. Pepper?"

Deidara pouted. This was the only type of soda that they didn't have at the Akatsuki hideout. Sasori knew this; that was why he had asked for it.

"I'm sorry, danna. We don't have any Dr. Pepper."

"What?" asked Sasori, pretending to be surprised and angry. "Well then, you'll just have to make some. And I think I'm going to take you up on your earlier offer to bake me a cake." Deidara nodded and stalked from the room. No wonder all the butlers in movies were stuck up and irritable. He wandered into the kitchen and took out a coke. Coke looked like Dr Pepper, right? Then he added a cup of sugar to a tall glass and poured in the coke. He stirred it and added ice.

"Deidara!" Sasori's voice drifted in from the other room. "Some music would be nice!" Deidara picked up the coke/Dr. Pepper and walked into the living room. He hit play on the stereo. Bad Boy was the first thing that came one.

"Who was the last one to use this?" Sasori asked, slightly confused. "Konan?" Deidara shook his head.

"I think it was Itachi and Kisame, yeah. Would you like me to change it to something else?"

"No," said Sasori. "Can you hurry up on the cake? I don't want to wait any longer." Deidara nodded and hurried back to the kitchen. He took out one of the cookbooks that Konan often used and flipped to the cake section. Finding the simplest chocolate cake he could, Deidara searched through the well stocked shelves for ingredients. Unfortunately, he had used up the rest of the sugar in Sasori's coke/Dr. Pepper. He shrugged and reached for the salt. They were the same color too, right?

One hour later, Deidara pulled the finished cake out of the oven. It was a little burnt, but he couldn't have cared less. Sasori wouldn't be able to taste it anyway. He put it on the counter to cool and took out a box of orange sprinkles. On top of the cake, he spelled out the word BANG. Grinning to himself, Deidara brought the cake out to Sasori.

"Hmph," said the red-head. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry, un." Then Deidara hurried from the room. Five seconds later, a large explosion was heard from the living room, followed by Sasori swearing loudly. Sasori had not been hurt by the blast; Deidara didn't want to hurt his partner as Pein might get mad at him. The puppet was only a little blackened and very angry. Chuckling to himself, Deidara was about to go back to his room when he heard the sound of a summoning jutsu. This could only mean one thing, and a very bad thing it was. Deidara fled down the hall with the third kazekage right behind him and Sasori grinning maliciously in the doorway to the kitchen. Deidara was able to launch a few clay bombs at him before he found himself encased in a cage of iron sand. Sasori had discarded his cloak in the living room. Now the cord in his chest began to unwind. He jabbed the point into the floor and slowly propelled himself down the hall, enjoying the fear on Deidara's face. When he reached the cage, he pulled the cord back into his chest and began to pace around the bars.

"Baka," he said. "Why on earth would you write BANG on the top of a cake you were planning to blow up? And really, Deidara, I know you well enough that something like that won't work on me. You blow up anything that pisses you off. And I have a hunch that this is exactly what I'm doing. But, Deidara, it's really not my fault. You started it by waking me up. I was having a particularly nice dream where Hidan sacrificed you to Jashin. And then, to be woken up by you, who was supposed to be dead… Well, it was too much to bear. Deidara, what ever are we going to do with you? I suppose I could just leave you in here all day, but that wouldn't be nearly bad enough. Anyway, I need someone to be my slave." Sasori stopped talking to think for a moment. Deidara took this moment to offer a word of advice.

"You could just forgive me and let me go, yeah." Sasori laughed softly and shook his head. Not a happy laugh. A cruel and calculating laugh. The laugh of a killer.

"If there's one thing you're good for, it is making me laugh. Not so much because you are funny, but because you are an idiot," he said. "For now, I'll settle for you cleaning up the mess you made with your exploding cake." With that, he let the iron cage dissolve as he put his puppet away. Holding Deidara painfully by the wrist, Sasori led the sheepish young blond back into the living room. Deidara couldn't help but smirk at how successful his cake had been. There was chocolate and frosting everyone. Then he remembered that he would be cleaning it all up. Sighing, he turned to retrieve a mop and towel.

"Ah, ah, ah," said Sasori. "You have to clean it up using the mouths on your hands."

"What the hell, you mean like lick it up? But then I have to brush their teeth when I'm done. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that can be for them, un?" Deidara looked positively horrified at the idea.

"So you _can_ eat with them!" exclamed Sasori triumphantly. "And when have you ever brushed their teeth before?" Deidara blushed and shook his head. It was obviously a touchy subject with him. Sasori supposed that he didn't really want to know anyway. Deidara was quite unpredictable and Sasori might regret asking. Sighing, the young blond turned and got to work. It was slow, considering how small his mouth hands were. The cake also covered quite a bit of the room, but that was okay with Sasori. For some reason, he enjoyed watching his partner lick frosting off of the sofa.

After about an hour, Deidara stretched his aching back, glad to finally be done cleaning. He was about to sink down onto the clean sofa, when Sasori shook his head.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking a rest, un."

"I don't remember telling you to do so. Remember, Deidara, you are still my slave for the day, and I can make you do anything I want. I haven't had a good oiling in days. Do you think you could possibly clean the coil in my chest? And also my arms." Deidara looked positively horrified at the idea. But at least Sasori hadn't mentioned the rest of his body… Deidara shook his head to rid it of some very unpleasant thoughts. Thankfully, he didn't have any more time to dwell on it, as Sasori was leaving the living room and heading for the room they shared. Deidara followed him. As far as he knew, all of the rooms were the same. Criminals of the Akatsuki organizations didn't care about personalizing their rooms, except for in cases like Sasori's where his work table took up quite a lot of the room. Sasori had often complained to the leader about getting a whole room for it, but there just wasn't space. There were two beds with matching black comforters, one wooden desk and chair, and Sasori's table.

When Deidara entered the room, he found Sasori with his robe off. The puppet jumped up on the table like a little kid going to the doctor's. Deidara sighed and grabbed the oil. He had watched Sasori do this a few times when he joined Akatsuki, as he had found the living puppet quite a novelty. Now, he found it only made the room smell. Grudgingly, Deidara squirted some oil onto a cloth and worked it into the joints of Sasori's left hand. It was easy and almost soothing, and as he worked, the sound of rain began.

Sadly, the oil was getting dangerously close to the mouths on his hands, and he frequently stopped to wipe them on his pants. Finally Sasori became so fed up with this that he told Deidara to go get a pair of gloves. Unfortunately, Deidara didn't wear gloves. Fortunately, he knew that Konan had quite a few nice pairs. He couldn't get into her and Pein's room, but when he checked the laundry, there was a pink pair with small purple hearts on them. With a small nose wrinkle of disgust, he pulled them on and went back to his room. When Sasori saw the gloves, he raised an eyebrow, as if to silently ask, "What the hell?"

"Konan's," explained Deidara. Sasori nodded, and the blond continued cleaning Sasori's arms. The rain was coming harder now, and Deidara thought he heard the blissful boom of thunder in the distance. Storms were one of the few natural things he lived for. The beauty of forests were lost on him; all of those impossibly old trees standing there as if waiting for something. He hated stone country, because who knew how long those ugly grey rocks had sat there. But storms were magnificent. They swelled and were gone in the course of a few hours, quite a long time by explosion standards, but compared to the age of the world, they lasted only a tiny moment. The lighting would flash and light up the area around you and then you were plunged back into darkness. The thunder would rumble after a few seconds, itself a perfect moment of art- Deidara's thoughts were cut off by a whimper from Sasori. He looked at Sasori, cowering into the table.

"You're afraid of the storm, un?" Sasori nodded sheepishly. "Well, well," said Deidara. "_Danna_ can't handle a little bit of lighting. I never thought I would see the day when-" Again Deidara was cut off, but this time it was by Sasori's punch.

"You won't see the day," said the angry red head. Thunder boomed outside and he jumped again. Without thinking, Deidara took his trembling master's hand and smiled. Sasori looked slightly nervous and slightly disgusted at the unexpected contact. Deidara could understand his fear. Being made of wood made one quite susceptible to burning. Lighting would make quick work of his body frame. _He looks so much like a child,_ thought Deidara, and pulled him into a hug. Sasori was tense, to say the least. He was as stiff as a board, although technically he was a board. Slowly, he relaxed until he melted into his partner's arms. Sasori's trembles subsided. The red head's mind was in over drive. _Why is he holding me? Why does he care? Why is it even helping? I should be repulsed. I hate this kid with his juvenile point of view, not to mention his ideas about true art. It should offend me. But… But… It doesn't. _When Sasori came to this startling realization, he knew something was wrong. Deidara was his enemy. They were only partners because Pein thought they would work well together, which they did. They were only in this intimate position because Sasori was afraid of lightning. Anyway, Sasori was probably the only one of the pair who thought this was an intimate position. Deidara would never be holding him like this if he knew what Sasori thought. But Sasori found himself wishing that it wouldn't make any difference. He wanted to believe that there was someone out there who would hold him just for the purpose of holding him. Not to restrain him, or calm him, but because they truly wanted to hold him. In other words, Sasori wanted to be wanted.

Slowly, he turned his head up toward Deidara. The blond had a little crazy smile on his face as he stared out the window at the flashes of lightning. He didn't seem to realize that he was still holding his partner close to his hard chest, even though Sasori had stopped trembling.

"Deidara," said Sasori quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you holding me like this?" Deidara looked at Sasori.

"Because you were scared, un."

"So? Since when do you care about me?" asked Sasori. Deidara sighed heavily.

"Since forever."

When Sasori heard this, his eyes grew big. Deidara continued.

"You always seemed so much better than me. So much stronger. So much smarter. So much better looking, although you do have an unfair advantage in that aspect, seeing as you can choose what you look like. Although I do believe you would be just as handsome if you were…" he trailed off, and let go of Sasori. "I'm sorry, un," Deidara said, and left the room.

Sasori sat in stunned silence for quite a long time. Never before had Deidara shown such a weakness, but now that the red head thought about it, it didn't seem so much like a fault. Deidara had been extremely brave to say that. Anyone else would probably be dead by now. But he said it anyway. It seemed to Sasori that he had regretted it. Then Sasori began feeling something that he hadn't felt before. He felt guilty. If he had said something to his partner, or somehow stopped him from leaving, then maybe Deidara wouldn't feel bad, or weak, or embarrassed, or whatever he was feeling.

Sasori made a decision. Slipping his cloak back on, he got up from the table and left the room, intent on finding the blond. He wasn't in his own room, the living room, or the kitchen, and that about covered the rest of the hideout because he definitely wasn't in someone's room. He went outside and found Deidara sitting on a small grassy knoll not far from the entrance. One arm was wrapped around his knees, which he had brought up to his chest as if trying to make himself into a little ball. The other arm was hanging limply at his side, his hand working a piece of clay. Sasori watched as Deidara molded the clay into a small bird and let it fly a little bit away before he exploded it. In the light following the explosion, Sasori was surprised to see that Deidara's cheeks were wet. It was only misting slightly now, so it was clear to him that he was crying. His puppet heart wrenched. This too was a new experience for him, because he had never cared about anyone after he turned into this form. Sasori had devoted all of his attention toward his puppets, never paying attention to what the people around him thought, did, or said, or even if they died. It just didn't matter. But now, as he watched Deidara cry, he felt something.

He wasn't quite sure what is was, but it made him want to be close to Deidara. It made him want to hold him and never let go.

Sasori walked over, knelt in front of the blond, took his cold face in his wooden hands, and brought the soft lips to his own hard ones. Vaguely, he wondered if he was making the right decision. Did Deidara even feel this way about him? Then his doubts were put aside as the blond brought his arms around Sasori's body and pulled him down on top of him. Sasori deepened the kiss until Deidara had to pull away to breathe. He looked up at Sasori with beautiful blue eyes and traced his finger across his forehead, down his left cheek and across his lips, sending chills down Sasori's back.

"I may be more handsome than you," said the red head. "But you are definitely prettier." Deidara smirked and rolled over onto Sasori, straddling his thin hips.

"Oh really, un? Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Sasori grinned and flipped over onto Deidara. He kissed the tears from his cheeks.

"Yes," Sasori whispered into the blonde's ear. Then they were kissing again, and rolling down the hill of soft grass, tangling limbs and cloaks. When they reached the bottom, they broke apart, Deidara panting slightly and Sasori with a silly grin on his face that Deidara had definitely never seen before.

"You're a very nice kisser," said Sasori with a gentle laugh.

"I practice on my pillow every night, un," said Deidara sarcastically, marveling at how easy it was to talk to Sasori now that things had changed.

"Oh, is that what all the noise is?" retorted his partner. Deidara rolled his eyes. In a flash Sasori was sitting on his legs.

"Did you roll your eyes at me?" he asked.

"Sorry _mom_," Deidara said.

"Who are you calling a woman? I don't have bangs and a ponytail."

"At least I'm a real boy, un," he said smugly.

"Oo," said Sasori, holding his hands over his heart as if he had been wounded. "I may have to punish you for that one." He sat cross-legged next to Deidara and hauled the blond into his lap. Slowly, as if torturing the boy, he brought his lips closer and closer until Deidara couldn't take it anymore and lunged for him. The kiss was passionate and everything either could have wished for. Sasori snaked one hand around Deidara's neck, the other on his lower back. He pushed his tongue into his partner's mouth, and Deidara gave a low moan in response. He unbuttoned Sasori's cloak, who dropped his hands to let it fall to the ground. The two fell back onto it together and gazed up at the sky, which was just beginning to darken.

"Is this what you thought I meant by slave, yeah?" asked Deidara.

"It wasn't exactly what I had in mind. But don't worry, I'm not objecting."

"Good, because you don't have a choice, un."

"What makes you say that?" asked Sasori.

"You can't choose who you fall in love with."

"Those are very deep words coming from someone in Akatsuki. And since when can puppets fall in love?"

"Since you fell in love with me. And even if you weren't in love yet, I am your partner so I will see you every day; I share your room. I tend to grow on people, yeah."

"Yes, I suppose that might happen, if I didn't kill you to make you shut up, which I have seriously considered doing sometimes."

"Well aren't you glad you didn't, danna?" asked Deidara.

"Yes."


End file.
